Here are some thoughts:
In the past year, especially the past month, I feel as if I have entered a whole new world. I guess in a sense I have. A month ago, I wasn't married. I had a different name, a different home, and a different sense of who I was. I have a whole new identity now. I am now a "Mrs." I now call some place different "home." This journey so far has been amazingly eye opening and I feel like I know now, more than ever, who I am. It's exhilarating!!!
But I must admit, it's a little scary too. I have different, slightly unfamiliar responsibilities that in my "past life", if you will, I never had to carry. As exciting as it is there is still this underlying fear that I will mess it all up. Whether it be from burning a meal to bleaching everything white in the laundry to going over budget or not being "enough." Don't misunderstand me, Eric is amazing and so incredibly encouraging. It's almost as if in his eyes, I can do no wrong. But I'm more aware of my own faults than to believe that. I've always felt the need to be a perfectionist and have thought to myself , "I need to do things right the first time. There can be no mistakes or else everyone will think I'm completely inept. That I'm not worthy of handling the task in front of me. I can't be percieved as weak." I suppose having that mentality is not fair to myself, though. Or to Eric. I mean, what would he think if I just broke down one day crying my eyes out because I couldn't make a perfect bundt cake??? He would think he had married a looney. And maybe he did but he doesn't need to know that so early into the marriage. ;-) So I will move on, face the challenges, learn from my mistakes, and enjoy all of the moments that make being a newlywed so special!
Here are some updates in the world of this new wife:
*Eric and I had a beyond amazing wedding and honeymoon. We could not have asked for a better time.
*I cried like a baby the first night at the house because it hit me that I am a big girl now and can't go running to my parents to protect me like they have always done. But Eric was there with his strong arms to hold me and to tell me it would be ok.
*Still haven't completed the full name change process but we are almost there. YIPEE!
*I am LOVING being a wife. I love doing laundry, cooking meals, and organizing our home to be a perfect fit for us. I'm sure that will change down the road but for now....MORE PLEASE!
*I really do love the cooking. One website that has made it not only possible for me to make yummy meals but also help keep me within a good budget has been http://www.e-mealz.com/
I highly recommend this site!!!
*I absolutely LOVE waking up next to Eric. When he wakes up he instantly holds me up and kisses me and we just lay there in bed, enjoying one another before the hustle and bustle of life steals us away from one another.
*Another reason I love sleeping with him is because he talks in his sleep and will actually respond back to me when I talk to him. It's a hoot to here the things he says. Just the other day he asked me, "WHY ARE THERE SOOOO MANY BLACK THINGS? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BLACK RINGS? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY WIRES EVERYWHERE? THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!" and then when I kept responding with "Huh??" he got mad and huffed and puffed then said, "Nevermind." He doesn't remember any of that. haha
*We have so much fun just making eachother laugh. :-)
*When I first moved in, I took a shower. Apparently his shower is different than the one at my parents house because when I got out there was water EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!! All over the floor.
*One day while making cheesy chicken I was pounding a breast of chicken with a meat tenderizer (sp?) and apparently hammered a little too hard. Chicken juice went flying into my left eye. YUCK.
Just had to share! Off to enjoy life! :-)